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Holiday Stress

How to avoid it and enjoy the season

As the holidays approach, anticipation of holiday cheer begins to build. Our imagination—aided by magazines, store windows and television—conjures up images of tables laid with golden turkeys, trees glittering with decorations, children opening gifts, families and friends gathered to share tradition.

Along with all their potential for feelings of warmth and togetherness, holidays can have a downside. Stress is part of everyday life, and holidays are no exception. Obligations—to friends, spouses, children and infrequently-seen relatives—can mount up. Tensions on such subjects as the family budget may be magnified during this period of shopping, entertaining and gift giving. And emotional feelings about the season can point up some differences between the way we imagine our lives and families and the way they really are.

But don't despair. There are ways to meet the holiday stress potential head on. By anticipating stress and taking steps to minimize it, you can keep it from spoiling your plans for an enjoyable holiday celebration. According to Rita Prather, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist at the Harris County Psychiatric Center and Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Texas-Houston Medical School, one of the keys of reducing stress is to take stock and set some goals before the holiday rush begins. "Getting caught up in your own or other people's unrealistic expectations for the holidays can be setting yourself up for a fall," Dr. Prather explains. Her advice is that your holiday planning include some advance thinking about what, for you, is realistic and what is not. "Family is, for many people, what holidays are all about. But nonstop togetherness is not necessarily the best plan," she cautions.

In these five stress-reducing tips, Dr. Prather emphasizes the therapeutic value of taking some time for personal relaxation and reaching out beyond family to help others.

Tips for Reducing Holiday Stress

Keep your expectations manageable.

Set realistic goals. Remember that both negative and positive events can produce stress. If you find yourself trying to accomplish too much, cut down on your "to do" list. Don't try to have the best time ever or risk holiday blues by romanticizing about holiday seasons past.
Find time for personal relaxation.

Avoid spending all your time catering to friends and family. Make it a point to take small but frequent breaks during hectic days to make sure you are emotionally healthy and physically rested during the season.
Avoid side-of-the-family struggles.

Have open discussions with your spouse and children about holiday plans. Try to have the whole family take part in deciding what's best—and least stressful—inviting relatives to your home or visiting in their homes.
Find a way to give to others.

Take the spirit of giving beyond family and break up your holiday routine by helping at a hospital, nursing home or soup kitchen. Volunteering is especially helpful if you're feeling lonely.
Create new holiday traditions.

Visit an old or new friend. Go to a local holiday concert or caroling event. Take a drive to see holiday decorations, read an uplifting holiday story or watch a similar movie.

When asked to provide, in a nutshell, her parting advice on reducing holiday stress, Dr. Prather concluded: "Find creative ways to approach the holidays without trying to achieve the perfect scenario or duplicate how others celebrate. Open and explore different doors that the season offers. If you don't like what's behind one door move on to another. Keep your expectations realistic and remember, nothing in life is perfect."

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